So You're 50.....Now What?

Well, it's been a while....so what have I been doing for the last 2 years?  Just being unemployed basically.  That has thankfully ended and I'm now working again in a field that I enjoy and find challenging.  And so I face this number, 50....w/some sense of gratitude because let's face it, my 40's were NOT stellar! 

I'm hopeful as I enter my 5th decade....I'm still sober, I've got a strong relationship (despite it's occasional challenges), we've got a new home in Moraga, CA and I'm working again after 4 years of unemployment.  And I've got my pageant! 

There's the possibility of a big change coming to my pageant; I've got to meet w/a couple of people and discuss a some things but it looks like I may hold the northern California Open in conjunction w/my pageant!  I've rather excited about it and what it means....more girls, bigger house, etc.....and the committee is also really jazzed about it.  We're getting ready to kick off our main fundraiser w/the trip to Carmel in a few days.  I'm hoping it's going to work for us so that we're not starting from $0.

So I'm determined that my 50's aren't going to be the ruin of me.  Hopefully, they'll be a new beginning for me.  

Maybe this will be one too..... 

I leave tomorrow morning to return to the city of my birth, Ft. Worth, TX to attend the 30th Reunion of the Class of 1981 of Western Hills High School.  So it was not without some sense of irony that I saw the news item about the incident between two students in a freshman German class.  I don't know what surprised me more: that the student had the nerve to ask a question about homosexuality out in the open in the classroom, or the reaction of the teacher when another student expressed a personal opinion that was intolerant and irrelevant to the class discussion.  I admire both for different reasons; the teacher, for even acting at all, though I can agree that a "teachable moment" was probably missed, there at least has been a clear boundary set in this teacher's classroom.  The student I admire for simply having the audacity of youth and fearlessness of his curiosity to simply ask a question to which he wanted an answer.  I can't help but remember myself at that same point; grateful that the first few weeks of school are over and I've corrected all my teachers about my name, ("It's pronounced "Micah" but I go by my middle name, "Layne") and it's myriad mispronunciations and mockings, titters, snickers and that spotlight's been dimmed a bit.  I generally tried to keep quite unless I really, really, really knew what I was talking about....which I didn't feel like very often.  So to start a discussion or offer an opinion on anything, let alone 'how German religion treats homosexuality' is really a pretty foreign concept to me....so good for him!

Now according to Eva-Marie Ayala in the good 'ole Fort Worth Star-Telegram (pub. 09/22/11) a discussion of religion had begun in Dakota Ary's German class when an unidentified classmate in the rear of the room asked the question related to homosexuality and how they as a country deal w/the issue.  Dakota, who is 14 and a freshman, said "I told my friend that I'm a Christian and I believe being gay is wrong."  Now it seems to me that the discussion was about 'religion' in the abstract and how one country deals w/a specific issue, not about how each student personally feels about the issue and so Dakota's "viewpoint", while many will fall back on the tried and true (and overused) "free speech" harangue, was not germane to the discussion.  I think a classmate's free speech ends when it comes to passing judgement on the "wrongness" of another classmate's life.  To judge his "friend's" life as "wrong" certainly doesn't make him much of a friend first of all and presupposes that Dakota, because he is "Christian" is living the "right" way.  This is arrogance of the first order, which is only magnified by Dakota's claim that he would do it again "because it's what I believe and I have a right to freedom of speech."  And what's really crazy are the people who say, "He's just expressing his opinion.  He's not making a judgement."  Well duh!  What part about judging something "wrong" don't these people get?  What's the opposite of wrong?  We make judgements every day of our lives when we decide 'right' from 'wrong'; those are "judgment calls".  So by definition, when Dakota said that he believes being gay is "wrong," he is judging his friend.

Christian author John Shore made a comment the other day that I'd like to share w/y'all:

"If you’re a Christian who believes that being gay is a morally reprehensible offense against God, then you share a mindset, worldview, and moral structure with the kids who hounded Jamey Rodemeyer, literally, to death. It is your ethos, your convictions, and your theology that informed, supported, and encouraged their cruelty. We Christians who believe that God created gay people as much in His own image as he did straight people are begging you to reconsider your theology — to do nothing more than be open to an alternative, fully credible, scholastically sound interpretation of one or two lines from Paul. How can you be unwilling to do something so simple, when you see the horrible ultimate cost of that refusal?" - Christian author John Shore.

I hoping that someone might pass this along to Dakota and a few others who probably need to hear it:  Rick Perry, Michelle Bachmann, Rick "Frothy Mix" Santorum, Herman Cain and those are just the current crop of candidates....I'm not going to even get into Congress. 

So students should feel free to express themselves, ask questions and explore ideas w/out fear of judgement from other students.  All students should be able to attend classes and make their way to and from those classes w/out fear of humiliation, ambush, being spat upon or bodily injury.  I hope that other teachers take a cue from this unnamed German teacher and at least use any future incidents as opportunities for discussions. 

'Cuz I Think He's HOT!

This is my Facebook buddy Rico... muy caliante!!!  Check out his website www.ricoelbaz.net and if you're in Las Vegas check out his Men of Sapphire show!

Time to say good-bye.....

2 weeks.  11 show days to be exact.  23 September 2011 and life as I've know it since the summer I was 15-years-old will end.  And w/everything else that's going on....I find that really quite upsetting.  In good times and bad, I could always count on the problems, issues and pathos of Pine Valley to distract me for at least an hour a day.  And unless I was screwed up setting the VCR, or it didn't record for some reason I watched it every day.   You see I'm one of those fans who is basically blindly loyal.  We suffer through the bad writing and ridiculous story lines; the outlandish leaps-over-the-shark; all of the attempts from the Powers-that-be to kill it.  And we may bitch about it and wonder when it will get better and wish and hope and pray for change; but we don't leave.  We've stuck it out and come that day, I don't know what decision I'll make going forward regarding the online show.  For me All My Children is ABC, 12:00 noon; yes, even though I tape it (and yes, I still tape it...don't get me started!).  But watching these last shows, now that the writing has been taken over by Ms. Brodderick, et. al. and we're getting character driven stories I feel a fresh wave of rage directed at Brian Frons and the other f*#kweasels at ABC Daytime who have uprooted so many lives w/promises of "new life" for the show w/the move to Los Angeles less than a year ago.

All My Children is being allowed to do what they have always done and done so well.  All My Children has long been at the forefront in commenting on political and social issues.  They were the first "entertainment" outlet to have a position on the Vietnam war when Ruth protested it (winning the first Daytime Emmy given to a performer); when Erica married Dr. Jeff Martin and found herself pregnant but wanted a "career," she had television's first ever abortion; the first lesbian relationship w/Devon and her therapist; honestly dealing w/alcohol and prescription drug addition.  All My Children was one of, if not the first show of it's kind to deal w/anorexia nervosa in a realistic and truthful way.  And even now as they're going out, it's w/two important stories.  Mixed in w/the requisite baby-switch and raising people from the dead we have 1) Amanda, a young woman in the prime of her life who's contracted HPV, developed uterine cancer and experienced a hysterectomy and now is going through menopause and 2) Marissa has realized her bisexuality, begun a relationship w/Bianca and is establishing a home w/their respective children.  They're now dealing w/JR's (surprising) bigotry that rearing it's ugly head, though his decent back into alcoholism is probably fueling this.  Both of these stories are socially relevant, have strong acting, and have the ability to change and impact people's lives...just what television is intended to do; or should.

That's something else.  The actors and actresses of Daytime don't get the credit they deserve for the work they put in.  They are (or were) television's "workhorses", memorizing pages and pages and pages of dialogue and then having changes handed to them and having to incorporate them the day of taping.  I've always thought Susan Lucci has never gotten the respect she deserves.  Her performance arc in the anorexia storyline is pretty much seared into my brain; that final confrontation she has w/Bianca where Binx finally admits her problem.  We don't see the over-the-top-telling-of-a-bear-in-the-woods Erica Kane; no, we see the Mother, desperate to save her child and desperate to reach her.  This was a woman who was able to tap into very real feeling bring them out in a genuine and authentic way.  I was sure that would be her year at the Daytime Emmys, but no.  It would be another couple.  The other performance that stays w/me all these years later is One Life To Live's Karen Wolek as portrayed by Judith Light.  She was a doctor's wife in Llanview but being forced to turn tricks by Marco Dane, a man from her past who ends up dead.  TV Guide named her "Karen Wolek on the Stand" performance as one of its "100 Most Memorable Moments on Television" and the performance is so emotional, so raw and gut wrenching and real that it is still used in acting classes today.  Here's the talent we might have missed out on w/out "soaps":

• Kevin Bacon - Guiding Light
• James Earl Jones - As The World Turns
• Marsia Tomei - As The World Turns
• Julianne Moore - Edge of Night (1 Episode); As The World Turns
• Meg Ryan - As The World Turns
• Leonardo DiCaprio - Santa Barbara
• Martin Sheen - As The World Turns
• Brad Pitt - Another World
• Susan Sarandon - A World Apart

So a pox on all their houses! Brian Frons and TPTB who decided that "The Chew" and another angst-ridden weight loss "journey" drama is what is needed in the afternoon.  I know I'll be watching "Millionaire" w/Meridith and then switching off ABC or at least changing the channel.  I hope they see a dramatic decline in their ratings in their "key demographics".  I'll be the first one dancing on the grave of Brian Frons career!!

Let's see, where was I?

I was able to entertain myself quite easily but it was dawning on me that I was becoming drawn to certain types of programs on t.v.  I distinctly remember being about 4-5 years old and The Addams Family came on and, having never seen it before and having had my fill of The Munsters, I sat down it give it a try and after a week, I really grew to like it....especially the theme song!  And all as a result of a "misheard lyric."  There are some famous ones, the most famous probably being Jimi Hendrix's " 'xcuse me while I kiss the sky." which is sometimes heard as "'xcuse me while I kiss this guy."  And personally it was MONTHS before I knew that in "Lucille", Kenny Rogers' wife didn't leave him with "400 children and a crop in the field," but "4 hungry children....."  See how easy it can happen?  But I digress.  Back to The Addams Family...if you run through the song, you come to the line, "a roost that you can crawl on," well what my little 4 or 5 year old mind hear was "a Bruce that you can crawl on."  And at the time, being really into the Batman tv series, the only "Bruce" that came to mind was "Wayne" and all I can tell you is that, even at that age my "spring" was "sprung"!  I was also very aware and even looked forward to the rerunning of the episodes of Gilligan's Island, where "The Professor" had a nightmare and rips his shirt open; or the "Surfer Dude" washes up on shore; or the episode of Fury where Peter Graves ran outside shirtless.  But by far the character who made the most impact on me I happened upon by accident while I was changing channels (we didn't have "channel surfing" in those days).  "Cheyenne Bodie" as portrayed by Clint Walker set an archetype for me that endures to this very day.  Tall, rugged, masculine, muscular, handsome, hairy chest...the WHOLE NINE YARDS.  In this month's OUT magazine, Maroon 5's lead singer Adam Levine talks about his gay brother and makes this comment to Shana Naomi Krochmal:  "I can single-handedly dispel any ideas that sexuality is acquired.  Trust me, you're born with it.  My brother is gay, and we knew when he was two." (p.109).  Sooooooo...a 2-year-old and myself a 4-year-old...too young to be "indoctrinated" and certainly, in my case most definitely, NEVER being around any other of "those sick disgusting people" at that point in my life, how else would you explain it?  Like Lady Ga Ga says, I was Born This Way, Baby!  My paws are up!!

The kerfuffel around "The Help"

So after 4 and-a-half weeks, it seems that The Help, the film of Kathyn Stockett's novel of the same name about the ins and outs of genteel, suburban Southern life, bridge clubs and barely concealed bigotry.   This was a world where a family's Black maid would cook, clean, cater to the Mr. and Mrs. of the house and for all intents and purposes raise any children they couple might have and yet, these same people (generally the Mrs. of the couple) couldn't bear the thought of the women who were raising their children using the bathroom in their homes.  So the "solution" of the neighborhood organizer, Hilly Holbrook (a wickedly, nasty Bryce Dallas Howard) is to require residents to basically build an outhouse for their maids.  When one young woman, Eugenia "Skeeter' Phelan (Emma Stone, who I think is one of the best, brightest, most promising young actresses around) who "escaped" what was expected of her and attended Old Miss returns with a journalism degree, gets a job at the local paper, finds that a significant person from her life is unexpectedly missing with no explanation and sees what's happened to the place she's known all her life she doesn't like what she sees.  Skeeter gets an idea to write a book about the experiences of the maids from the perspective of the maids and goes about enlisting the help of  Aibileen Clark (the amazing and breathtaking Viola Davis), and Minny Jackson (Octavia Spencer in a role that is sure to bring her loads of nominations come awards season), though not without some initial resistance.  There's a moment when Minny complains that the little girls they love, care for and bring up "they grows up to be just like they's mamas!"  But gradually these women from one world begin to trust this girl from the other world in which they constantly move and yet can't be a part.  I think this is obviously a movie that is speaking to people and in a more positive than negative way.

That is why it was so disturbing to me then that when on 10 August, Professor Melissa Harris Perry 'live Tweeted' her reaction to a screening of the movie for Lawrence O'Donnell's The Last Word on MSNBC; she is not a fan.  Dr. Harris Perry insists this is "a coming of age story about a young white Southern woman...it is NOT a story about black women."  What I think Dr. Harris Perry can't get past is that this is a sympathetic story about about black women but from the perspective of that "young white Southern woman," because I think this is a story that hasn't been told before.  One of Dr. Harris Perry's criticisms was "Medgar Evers got as much screen time as Skeeter's boyfriend."  Well, Dr. Harris Perry, the subject of Medgar Evers assassination was covered, covered well and beautifully by Whoopie Goldberg and James Woods in Ghosts of Mississippi; why retell this story unless you can improve on what's already been done?  Dr. Harris Perry further indicts the movie as inconsequential and demeaning to 'the real issues' that domestic workers faced in Jackson, MS.  "...it was rape, it was lynching, it was the burning of communities." 

Yes, Dr. Harris Perry it was all of those things and they were wretched and horrible and heartbreaking; but they also faced these types of things, too and they may have been even more insidious because these were quiet, stealthy movements; adult peer pressure in it's most blatant form and not everyone went along to get along.  Yet in this case this young woman stood up.  She saw that her friends, people she'd known her whole life - even her own Mother - were not who she thought they were.  To say the women in this story are "props to the white protagonist" paint a distorted picture of both the women and their champion, Dr. Harris Perry's "white protagonist."  Additionally, to intimate that the only issues that female African-American domestic workers faced were the violent, invasive as the ones mentioned by the good doctor is dismissive and disrespectful of the real issues these women faced.  Just because the issues weren't as violent or invasive as those related by Dr. Harris Perry, it didn't make them any less demeaning; remember, most people generally must use the bathroom more than once a day and each would require a trip to that "outhouse."

I've been watching Professor Harris Perry for several years on MSNBC.  I've even gone through her name change!  I agree with her most of the time, probably 85-90% and I'm glad to see that it seems she's going to be the go-to-Girl when they need a "fill-in" there, but there's a reason that we have people from academia on news/opinion/commentary shows and NOT as movie reviewers!  This was a perfect example.  Professor, this is not a film about the over arching civil rights movement.  This is a film about characters and the relationships these characters have among themselves, how they change and how other relationships develop between characters who have historically related on one level and watching them change and relate on a completely differently level.  I think Dr. Harris Perry should stick to her day job and as far as her commentary she should stick to things political, economical, and fiscal and leave the movie reviews to people like the SF Chronicle's Mick LaSalle.

Starting here, starting now

So many of my Brethren, or Sisteren as the case may be, were heavily influenced by Hollywood, movies, big musicals, and bigger stars I sometimes feel I was born a couple of decades too late because I missed the Golden Age of the Hollywood Musical.  I got the Progressive 70's and the New Wave, whatever the hell THAT was; and Mother and Daddy weren't big "movie people," except whenever Disney came out w/anything new, that was top of the list!  And the 70's were the 'Disaster Era' w/"The Poseidon Adventure," which I was too young for in 1972 and "The Towering Inferno," that was my first "PG" movie in 1974.  Also LOTS of 'horror': "The Omen" and "The Exorcist" and 'gritty realism': "Serpico", "Dog Day Afternoon" and "Straw Dogs".....none of these the stuff of which a young gay boy's dreams are made from.

So I immersed myself in television.  I Love Lucy, Gilligan's Island, Bewitched, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Batman, and The Addams Family....and that was just weekday afternoons!  Weeknights I had The Bionic Woman, Charlie's Angles (the REAL ONES!!!!!), Dallas, and Knots Landing. And Saturdays.....Saturdays were Mary Tyler Moore and The Carol Burnett Show!  There were Movies Of the Week, Miniseries (Oh my GOODNESS!!! Scruples, Princess Daisy, Hollywood Wives!!!), and I lived ALL of them!!  I'd act out different scenarios either w/myself or other kids in the neighborhood.  There was an entire year that the movie "Escape to Witch Mountain" was a shared obsession of me and my best friend in middle school.  And I'd be committed to whatever "part" I was playing.  And when I wasn't "bringing art to life," I was doing drag in my room before I knew what "drag" was.

Records.  Those old-fashioned, large, black vinyl discs that used to be how we listed to music, were always quite prevalent in our house.  My first forays were Tony Orlando but I quickly graduated to Barry Manilow, where I plateaued until I discovered Olivia Newton-John.  Olivia!!!!  I found her and my course was set!  It was me and female vocalists from that moment on: Linda Ronstadt, Pat Benetar, Sheena Easton and finally, ultimately.....Celine!  It would take me a decade to move my "Pat Benetar" from my bedroom onto a Ft. Worth stage, but  that's a story for another post.

'Cuz I think he's HOT!

I'm planning on making this a regular "Friday Feature"!  Why?  Cuz I like HOT guys!!!

My talented and SEXY Friend, L.A. designer Lamarco....check out his Facbook page:  http://www.facebook.com/MarcoLeverette

Death of Gay Teen in Michele Bachmann's Hometown

http://youtu.be/SNXyj-nr5i4

Probably nothing has weighed on my heart more heavily recently than the death of Marcellus Andrews, a young man who was sitting on his porch w/friends and when he and a friend decided to go for a walk around the block, they were surrounded and attacked by a group of "youths" who called him by name and proceeded to beat him to unconsciousness and then continued to kick him in the face as they shouted anti-gay epithets.  And Michele Bachmann's silence has been deafening!  She has not even offered sympathy to the young man's family; and it should be noted that Mrs. Bachmann's congressional district has the highest incident of youth gay & lesbian suicides in the country.  Mrs. Bachmann and her husband, the other Mrs. Bachmann, insist that gays anad lesbians are "barbarians."  REALLY?!?  And what would you call the thugs who murdered Marcellus?  Heroes, no doubt.

The local police department have dismissed the calls for hate-crime attachments and Marcellus's family "does not believe he was gay."  But if he was or wasn't gay is immaterial, the thugs who killed him were witnessed shouting "fag" and "faggot" as they beat and kicked him.  This is the type of thing that will only increase should someone like Michele Bachmann or Rick Perry become President.

They've made very clear what their feelings about gays and lesbians are and have left little doubt about what they would do and how they would begin to dismantle the hard won rights we fought so hard for up to this point.